Joni G

I’ll never forget the day I answered the phone to hear a phrase that would change my life forever. Unfortunately it’s breast cancer. The doctor went on to say a lot more during that call but I didn’t hear or process not another word. Petrified doesn’t even seem to explain how I felt. I’d seen my fair share of the destruction and pain breast cancer causes. After all, it had taken my mother and it took its time in doing so. She was left with horrific scars and the second time around she fought for almost 6 years before it took her. I was devastated and my greatest fear was playing out before my eyes. I could never be as strong as my Mother or as stoic as her. I would surely not survive this and the very thought of having to was more than my mind could even bare. Some how I pulled myself together enough to start telling people I love. After a lot of tears, prayers and love I summoned up the bravery to have a double mastectomy. Considering my family history it was the smarter choice. 

With that choice I began to wonder how much would I miss myself, my body. I’ve never been super vain but I do love myself and my body. Being a survivor of severe domestic violence. I had come a long way to love myself. I thought about boudoir shoots and wondered if I could be brave enough to do such a sassy thing…at my age. I mentioned it to my Aunt, right away she said omg I know the perfect person for that, Debbie Medlock! So after much thought I contacted Debbie. She was so kind hearted and so empathic to my situation. Luckily for me so was the beautiful woman who gave me her spot on Debbie schedule. I showed up for my shoot just days before my surgery. A nervous and mental mess from all the scary things I’d soon face. However, I was excited to do this and from the moment I walked into Debbie’s house I felt more relaxed and comfortable as we went on. We talked while my make and hair was being done. Then we started taking pictures. Right away she figured out exactly what I had in mind. I wasn’t sure if my nervousness and amateurism would show thru onto the images.

Let me tell you it did not and I loved the experience! I’m so happy I decided to do this! For me and for me alone! It was so empowering! Celebrating myself, my body. It’s ok to love yourself! It took me a very long time to believe that. I was very reserved and shy about participating in this blog! After talking with Debbie, she explained how great it is for women in my position to see and hear from someone who knows exactly how they feel. To show it’s ok, to be scared, to be unsure, to be brave and most of all to love yourself.